“Ugh, it’s time-consuming.”
“It isn’t necessary.”
“It’s a dying art.”
“Oh, I just send emails.”
Those are some of the many replies I hear when I mention the subject of the Handwritten Note.
I always muse that those who think note writing is a waste of time, are the very people who don’t think it’s a waste of time when they are receiving a gift . Why the double standard? That is a question for which I have no answer .
But I do know that something wonderful happens when one takes the time to write a ‘thank you’ note: a sense of gratitude pervades the writer’s life; the focus on self is shifted to the focus on others; the emphasis is no longer on ‘what I own,’ the emphasis becomes ‘what I owe.’
The poet Oscar Wilde, during two years of imprisonment, learned the importance of what he owed due to the kindness of others, over what he owned due to his privileged life style. In a letter to his friend Sir Henry Maximilian Beerbohm, Oscar Wilde wrote:
“I used to think gratitude a heavy burden for one to carry. Now I know that it is something that makes the heart lighter. The ungrateful man seems to me to be one who walks with feet and heart of lead. But when one has learnt, however, inadequately, what a lovely thing gratitude is, one’s feet go lightly over sand or sea, and one finds a strange joy revealed to one, the joy of counting up, not what one possesses, but what one owes. I hoard my debts now in the treasury of my heart, and, piece of gold by piece of gold, I range them in order at dawn and at evening. So you must not mind my saying that I am grateful to you. It is simply one of certain new pleasures that I have discovered.”
Art expresses the aesthetic principles of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance. Oscar Wilde toured America lecturing extensively on aestheticism; however, it was in prison he learned that the true nature of beauty is gratitude.
Gratitude ~ beautiful art!
Studied elegance and facility in style of expression:
Hi, Loretta!
That’s so interesting how Oscar Wilde’s awakening to the importance of gratitude occurred. He chose to humble himself and delve into searching his soul, in order to weigh all the matters of his life. It’s so clear from his letter that you posted, that this revelation became his salvation, which changed his entire perspective towards being appreciative, which I believe helped preserve his sanity during his confinement.
To me, as well, the technology of email sending definitely has its place, yet there are some things I’ve become very obstinate about and writing ‘thank you’ notes is one of those. I, concur, totally with you about the shift of focus that occurs when one expresses gratitude via a handwritten ‘thank you’ note. A link or connection takes place that is refreshing and uplifting to the sender and the recipient. Also, from my observation, when people become lax in the area of expressing gratitude, they are unaware that they have set into motion the lose of sensitivity to the receptivity of others. They become mechanical and routine in their approach to clients, customers, etc. of which a well versed person, trained in the art of showing appreciation, can see through them like a sheet of glass. I’ll conclude by saying that…showing gratitude through appreciation makes the heart lighter, for sure.
Hello Mae Mae,
Your observation of Oscar Wilde’s revelation being the anchor that maintained his sanity is quite astute. It is interesting that Wilde’s most famous work is “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” The novel tells of a young man named Dorian Gray, the subject of a painting by Basil Hallward – who is impressed by Dorian’s beauty. Dorian is misguided by a friend of Basil. Wanting to espouse the life of hedonism, Dorian realizes that one day his beauty will fade, so he cries out, expressing his desire to sell his soul to ensure that the portrait Basil has painted of him would age and turn ugly rather than himself. Dorian’s wish is fulfilled and he plunges into a very selfish life style. With each debauched act his image in the portrait becomes more and more disfigured – serving as reminder of the effects of a selfish life.
Oscar Wilde wrote “The Picture of Dorian Gray” before his time in prison. Interesting.
Thanks and please stay in touch,
Loretta
Dear Loretta,
I know you know the art of saying thank you and writing thank you notes. I have been the receipient of many of them. When I receive them it makes my day. It has made me aware of the need to write more.
I agree with your other blog that we are too quick to complain. I am trying to be better at looking for the postives.
Thanks for writing these blogs and keeping us on our “toes”.
Stephanie
Dear Stephanie, you are delight to know and I post this for all to read that Larry and I are grateful that Chuck and you are not only our neighbors, but also our friends.
What is wonderful about our friendship is that we learn from each other and thank you for confirming that I do bring a positive presence to your life – and please know that you do the same for me.
Friendships are ~ in a paraphrase of Oscar Wilde’s quote “…pieces of gold.”
Loretta
Hello Loretta! I know you’re very busy so I promise not to take up much of your time! I wanted to share with you this website that I was told about which I believe may be of interest to you. I’m still obstinate when it comes to the hand-written ‘thank you’ note, yet of course, there will be exceptions. Especially, when it’s dealing with Copingstone members (who are located in different locales), for example. There are times when e-invitations and e-notes will assure that people will receive them at the same time when told to watch out for their arrival in advance. This website has the most beautiful and appropos invitations and thank you notes that I’ve seen and some are free. It’s just an idea! I’m quite sure if they came up with this, one can create one’s own link to invitations, as well, to send out when it’s e-appropriate! Just wanted to share. Be continually blessed!
Dear Pearls,
Thank you for the information! I did receive the link and plan to visit it. At present I am on a trip ~ but, I will re-connect with WordPress when I return home. Again, thanks!
Loretta, my apologies! I didn’t notice that my user name changed after I retrieved the e-invitation information from another website that I comment on! My user name is also pearls.